Dealing with Romantic Mistakes

When they happen to other people, romantic mistakes are the stuff of great comedy. They can be silly, quirky, goofy and down right funny. But when romantic mistakes hit closer to home, say when you roll over only to discover something akin to Big Foot in your bed, they suddenly become very serious. Don’t let another romantic mistake pass without coming up with an escape plan – or steal this one if you’re just too shocked to think!

Acknowledge Your Mistakes

Most people will recognise their romantic mistakes in the cold, hard light of day. Some people will even recognise them coming from a mile away but still fall head over heels. When you’ve made a romantic mistake, be it an ill-advised one night stand, falling for a notorious cheat, cheating on a committed partner or becoming the one with whom a committed partner cheats, acknowledging your mistake is crucial. No need to be nasty and acknowledge it to everyone around you, but as long as those personally involved understand your feelings you’ll have built a good starting block for the rest of your moving on process.

Recognise Your Patterns

Unfortunately it may take a few untoward affairs of the heart to recognise your patterns, but once you do you’ll at least know what to look out for in the future. Common patterns that many young adults discover include:

• Bringing home strangers after a few drinks.
• Going home with strangers after a few drinks.
• Hooking up with good friends and freaking out later.
• Hooking up with someone who everyone else feels should be your perfect match, but forgetting to consult your own preferences first.
• Lusting after someone (anyone!) that they can’t have, such as a professor, boss, mentor, or someone already in a committed relationship.
• Committing to a relationship but cheating when you get cold feet.
• Holiday flings that may leave you with a few nasty souvenirs.

Change Your Habits

Once you recognise your patterns when it comes to making romantic mistakes you are in the driver’s seat to change your habits. The next time you feel a mistake about to happen:

• Talk it over with a friend.
• Remove yourself from the situation.
• Remind yourself of your past mistakes, and how they made you feel.
• Find a new activity to take up your time and break old habits.
• Get your head stuck in a book and out of the clouds.
• Throw yourself into work, taking on extra shifts and responsibilities that will limit your mistake-making minutes.

Forgive Yourself

At the end of the day, if you try your best and still make a romantic mistake it’s not the end of the world. As long as you have the capacity to deal with it you haven’t done yourself irreparable harm. Have STD and HIV tests to make sure that you are taking care of your physical health, and do some soul searching to check in on your emotional health. If you find yourself the punch-line of a few jokes or the source of a little gossip just hold your head up high and remember that this too shall pass. Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s the truly courageous who give it all another go regardless. Be courageous and get out there again. Go on, give it another go!