Dealing with a Broken Heart

Some people do it by working 24/7. Others do it with pint after pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Still others do it with a small bonfire and constant refrains of “I Will Survive.” Dealing with a broken heart is not something that comes with iron-clad instructions but sadly requires everyone to come up with their own plan for moving on. Thankfully there are a few similarities that everyone can learn from, so if you are in a post-break-up haze hopefully you’ll find some comfort in these suggestions. If not, make sure you have a fire extinguisher on hand for that bonfire!

Let Yourself be Sad

It would take quite a stoic to keep a stiff upper lip when dealing with a broken heart, and there’s really no reason for that anyway. If you’ve been left broken hearted, let yourself be sad! Give yourself permission to wallow in your misery for a few days, even cultivating more by:

• Watching a few tear-jerker films.
• Reading weepy novels.
• Listening to maudlin music.
• Swapping bittersweet stories with your friends.
• Reminiscing about the good times.
• Revisiting a few of your favourite couple places.

Let Yourself Get Mad

Once you’ve had a few days and a few good cries, pull yourself together and let yourself get mad. No doubt you’ll feel angry that you’ve been broken-up with, angry that you’ve wasted weeks/months/years with someone so insensitive, and even angrier that you’ve now spent your own precious time mourning such a relationship. Use your angry energy to:

• Have a good clean out of all of the reminders of your relationship. Clearing out clothes items, pictures, souvenirs and even old gifts will help you let go of the past and move forward.
• While you’re at it have a good clean out of your wardrobe and living areas. Get everything neat and tidy, just the way YOU like it, and resolve to have a fresh start in every way.
• Kick start a new exercise regime to work off your anger and come up with a whole new you.
• Fly through your assignments. Nothing like high marks and impressive job offers to make others see what they’re missing!

Let Yourself Move On

When you’ve exhausted your righteous anger, give yourself permission to move on. You’ve resolved to start afresh, so open this chapter of your life with some interesting new activities. Consider:

• Joining an exercise or yoga class.
• Splurging on a whole new look for your fantastic self.
• Investigating a long held dream, such as learning to play the piano or paint.
• Taking on odd jobs and saving up for a fabulous holiday.
• Treating others to a few creative culinary adventures.
• Organising a day trip to a nearby museum or theatre matinee.
• Hosting a party or celebration.

Dealing with a broken heart is a painful, messy time. Even if you have dealt with break-ups before, the end of each relationship is unique and requires a new plan for moving on. Certain stages, such as being sad, being mad and finally moving on, are fairly common when dealing with a broken heart so embrace, rather than fight, these developments. The day you wake up looking forward to each new adventure is the day you’ll realise that your heart has healed. Don’t rush to this conclusion, but have faith that it will come when it is supposed to. Remember, as long as you learn from this experience then nothing has been wasted – except maybe a great hair day or two on someone who didn’t deserve them!